The Paradox of being Real

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

- Marcus Aurelius

There’s a current wave of “authenticity” doing the rounds at the moment, as if it were something we only just started respecting.

If you were to ask anyone what their definition of being authentic was, I’d wager the majority would either parrot something they’d heard or fumble through something along the lines of “speaking your truth.”

Cool.

But if it’s the truth…if it’s the most honest version of who you are…then why do you need to point it out?

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve witnessed someone lie about who they were behind the curtains claiming to be speaking “their truth”.

Like everything else, “authenticity” has been hijacked and marketed. It sells. It looks better when sold with rounded vowels or exaggerated antics. A populous of parrots regurgitating podcasts and quotes they read online.

I once heard a grown ass man look me dead in the eye and say:

“I’ve said this since I was a kid. It’s better to be a warrior in a garden…then a gardener in a war”.

I wonder if it ever occurred to him that maybe…just maybe…I had also heard that Musashi quote used on the Joe Rogan Experience.

The biggest podcast in the world.

Dickhead.

But this behaviour is more common than you think. It’s insane how many people I know in real life, who paint online pictures of themselves that don’t even remotely resemble reality.

Once upon a time the lie stopped at photos. Now these peanuts are photoshopping their souls and chucking filters on belief systems.

Growth is messy. It involves contradicting yourself and sometimes abandoning ideas you once defended passionately. It requires admitting you were wrong, or that what once fit you no longer does. But authenticity is being confused with consistency.

As if being genuine meant never changing.

The irony is, this authenticity quest becomes the greatest performance of their lives. Every “I’m just keeping it real” adds another chapter to their bullshit story.

Marcus Aurelius’ quote reminds us of something we’ve forgotten.

The fluidity of truth.

That everything we hear is opinion and everything we see is perspective. I don’t think he was just making a point. I think he was recognising that truth itself is contextual, shifting, and deeply personal.

If the world around us is filtered through perspective, then so are we. Our understanding of ourselves isn’t fixed but an ongoing interpretation. Coloured by new experiences, relationships, and insights.

To expect that in order to be authentic is to remain the same person is to deny reality.

That’s retarded.

People like Aurelius knew that wisdom wasn’t about holding firm to positions, but about aligning actions with principles while remaining open to the evolution of understanding.

“The truth is like a lion. You don’t have to defend it. Let it loose, it will defend itself”

-Saint Augustine

So, what is real authenticity? I’ll give you the only interpretation that I read somewhere and agree with.

It isn’t about maintaining patterns. It’s not about speaking, thinking or dressing the same way you did when you “found yourself.”

It’s simply alignment.

That’s literally all it is.

The ongoing practice of speaking and acting in accordance with your current values and principles and be willing to adjust as they mature and refine.

Say what you believe to be true now…not what got you liked.

Acknowledge growth and change instead of defending a position for the sake of consistency.

It means risking being seen as fickle, not because you’re inconsistent but because authenticity is dynamic. It breathes. It adapts. It learns.

You don’t need permission to change. In fact, I’d say the refusal to develop is the greatest act of betrayal to authenticity.

Every book you read, conversation you have, and experience you survive has the right to change you. To resist that change in the name of “staying real” is to choose performance over presence.

You don’t owe yourself or anyone the version that you were yesterday especially if it does not serve.

The realest thing you can do is admit when your perspective has shifted.

To say, “I used to think this, but I’ve learned that...”. It’s not fickle or weak. It’s the mark of someone who’s actually paying attention to life rather than rehearsing it.

Everything is perspective.

Including our view of ourselves and people around us.

Staying true to the principles that guide you, even as everything else transforms around them.

I know because I use to stay on hills far too long and I’ve missed too much to repeat the same mistake now.

It’s one of the many differences between being a photograph and being alive.

Or maybe fuck being real.

Just be you.

Whoever that is today.