The Tax of Transformation

"Let strangers be your proof that you're not crazy for wanting more."                                            

-can’t remember

People who know you are invested in the version of you that already exists.

 That version keeps them comfortable. It's the you they can predict. The version they've filed away in their mental catalogue.

The friend  they can always access

The sibling who plays it safe.

The coworker who stays in their lane.

 Their understanding of the world is built around their perspective and how it fits their narrative. You’re a piece of their puzzle. We are all guilty of it to some degree.

It’s not malicious. It’s human.

When you shift, build, or go up a tier, it quietly challenges the choices they didn't make. Your evolution becomes a mirror. If you can change, what does that say about them staying still?

If you can start the business, lose the weight, leave the job—what's their excuse? They didn't sign up for that reflection. It’s an uncomfortable conversation that many avoid. Sometimes until it’s too late.

Clapping for you would mean admitting that change is possible and that change is choice. It would mean confronting the fact that they, too, could have moved differently. Could still move differently. But that requires looking inward, and most people would rather look away.

So, your growth becomes inconvenient. Your wins become uncomfortable. Not because they don't love you, but because loving the new you means questioning themselves.

That's confronting.

So, they ignore. They dismiss. Not out of hate but out of self-protection. They'll downplay what you've done. Call it luck. Call it timing. Say you've changed, and not in a good way. They'll wait for you to fail so things can go back to normal. So they can stop feeling the quiet pressure of your progress. It's easier to protect their narrative than to celebrate yours.

But strangers?

Strangers don't carry your past. They can only judge what's in front of them. They didn't know you when you were struggling, stuck, or scared. They never met the old version, so they're not mourning it. They're not comparing. They're just watching you show up, put in the work, and deliver. And that's refreshing. That's clean.

Their assessment is based on the work, the intent, the energy.

Nothing else.

They see the result without the backstory. They hear the message without the baggage. They applaud the effort because effort is all they have to measure. And sometimes that's the purest form of recognition. No history. No bias. Just respect for what you're building right now.

Now…you don't need anyone's validation or applause. Not from strangers, not from family, not from anyone. The claps are nice when they come, sure, but they're not the fuel. They’re the echo.

It’s the fact that the loudest claps come from strangers…that’s the part that will get you every time.

The people who owe you nothing. The people who have no reason to root for you except that what you're doing resonates. They see you leveling up and it doesn't threaten them. It inspires them. Or at minimum, it impresses them. And that's enough for them to cheer.

Meanwhile, the people who've known you the longest stay quiet.

That's the tax for transformation.

Yes. It sucks.

 But it must be paid.