Breathing doesn't make you Buddha

Once upon a time, when rainbows were black and white, "wise" was a title you earnt, not a participation trophy you got for not dying. Tribal elders gained their status after going through coming-of-age moments, rites of passage and demonstrated competence. 

Enter today's life gurus.

In the absence of clear transitions into respected elder roles, people are manufacturing their own authority by regurgitating concepts they don't understand and books they've barely skimmed. Taking advantage of people's declining attention spans to avoid having to show proof that they know what the hell they're talking about.

Age brings experience…sure. But experience without growth? Is just time wasted with confidence.

Let me paint a picture of what it looks like in real life.

Obese, depressed middle-aged men who blame their woes on the world with zero accountability…are lecturing twenty-somethings on masculinity like seasoned warriors sharing battle secrets.

Divorced women in their 30s and 40s painting themselves as self-appointed relationship professors. Gathering younger women like disciples, spreading their gospel of mistrust and resentment. As if their failed marriages were the result of others mistakes instead of their own poor choices.

The broke financial guru living pay cheque to pay cheque, teaching wealth building. Somehow mistaking expenses for experience. Every item on credit and one week of lost wages away from homelessness.

Aging is not an achievement. It's a biological inevitability. Trips around the sun don’t equal lessons learnt. No trials overcome, no communities served, no mastery demonstrated.

Real wisdom isn't found in a quote read last Tuesday or a reel filled with buzzwords and transitions.

It's found in a workshop in the hands of a carpenter. The business owner juggling the risk of freedom vs the security of a boss. The parents who raised 5 kids on a single income. People who have built something... companies, families or communities. And when they share, it's with a humility that only comes from scars, real failure and genuine recovery. 

To my fellow millennials.

We don't have to be the wise elders yet. Being middle aged doesn't come with some rule that says we have to have all the answers. We're still learning, making mistakes and figuring it all out. Whatever pressure you may feel to be an authority on anything is manufactured nonsense. Some have worked it out quicker than others. There's no shame in not being one of them. I know I'm still unravelling the mess I made in my 20s and 30s. But I'd rather be authentically uncertain than fraudulently wise.

To the next generation (not advice...just an opinion)

When you get here, you might feel that same pressure to suddenly have all the answers. You'll be tempted to package your experience as wisdom and start dispensing advice. Unless you’ve got receipts...resist that urge. Keep learning, keep growing, and remember that surviving isn't the same as thriving.

Don't become the middle-aged guru you roll your eyes at today.